WORDS MAISIE JANE DANIELS - SPECIAL THANKS TO INSIDE OUT
F Word headed back to the beautiful backdrop that is the Brecon Beacons's Black Mountains to celebrate Green Man's 20th anniversary, and it didn't disappoint. Amongst many, Michael Kiwanuka, Ezra Furman, Kae Tempest, Donny Benét and Black Country, New Road stole our hearts. The sun was shining and spirits were sky high. There was a sense of freedom and togetherness, carelessness and letting loose - with all of these elements coming harmoniously together.
For 2022, F Word's Maisie Daniels brings you a list of some of the things she got up to, providing an insight into just why this festival is the perfect host for one long party that you never want to end.
OPENING IMAGE CREDIT PATRICK GUNNING
3D GLASSES WEARING
IMAGE CREDIT PARRI THOMAS
The iconic (or should I say Ikonisch) Kraftwerk had us all putting on our 3D glasses for their electrifying show, both musically and visually. Not only are they pioneers in electronic music, this German four-piece are trend setters too, as the glasses quickly became the local fashion accessory for the remaining days. Doubling up as masks to hide the antics from the night before- top work, gentlemen!
PEEING STANDING UP
That's right, Green Man utilised female urinals and (except from when I was a tomboy as a little girl) I had my first pee standing up. For those of you not it in the know, you have your own private booth to conceal you, space for your head to pop out the top for some 'fresh air', and a couple of long sticks either side to hold on to as you got those leg muscles fired up - a great squatting exercise, and excuse to re-enact the famous "You shall not pass" Lord of the Rings scene - no, just me?
EMOTIONAL MOMENTS WITH FRIENDS
IMAGE CREDIT PARRI THOMAS
When Kae Tempest came out on stage and dedicated their set to friendship, stating "if your friends aren't there, call them" there wasn't a dry eye between my friends and me, as we silently absorbed the profoundly relatable poetic words of Tempest and embraced - it's a moment I will cherish.
BOOZING
If, like us, the tinnies you intended to keep you going for a few days 'accidentally' got drunk merely hours after putting up your tent - those things are thirsty work - then Cock Tales was the place to be. This was a bar which provided an array of deliciously refreshing quality cocktails complete with fresh fruit (and the only bit of healthiness that passed my lips for four days!) along with a fantastically comical name, what more could you ask for? Well... perhaps what was hidden behind it...
SECRET SHOWS
IMAGE CREDIT MAISIE DANIELS
... situated alongside Cock Tales (and much like the wardrobe in Narnia but in red velvet curtain form) once entered it would take you on a journey to possibly Green Man's best surprise. Walking through the dark corridor you soon entered a lit up tent, filled with loud lighting, beaming with bubbles and buckets of energy, that hosted well choreographed cabaret and fabulous drag performances, alongside a DJ set of ultimate bangers that would have you dancing late into the night. Thank you Dolly Trolley and your gang, it's safe to say we went back every night.
SLOGAN SIGHTINGS
IMAGE CREDIT MAISIE DANIELS
I have to say Green Man's crowds brought in some top draw, t-shirt game with truly commendable slogans that were a feast for the eyes (see above image for my favourite). I've already got mine in the post for next year - watch out, there's going to be some competition!
LONG-DROP LOVING - DON'T MIND IF I POO!
Using the *cough* facilities is always a nerve racking one when it comes to festivals but long drops tick all the boxes as far as festival loo's go - just make sure you don't look down and you'll be grand. The long-drops are composting toilets and heaps more environmentally friendly than portaloo's:
"They do not require water, which saves hundreds of thousands of litres of water used for flushing. Zero biocide chemicals are used, which means no intensive treatment at sewage farms. There’s also a dramatic reduction in the amount of trucks involved in the transportation and sanitation process. Within a couple of years the waste will be composted and ready to spread out on local farms, creating a circular loop. Our toilets are run and cleaned by Wateraid, their wonderful team will be happy to tell you all about the benefits of compost loos and their work as a charity.
And remember, "a cup full of sawdust helps the smell go down" *sang in the style Mary Poppins*
CUP STACKING
IMAGE CREDIT CHARLIE AKTINSON
It felt good to be back in the land of the cup stack. It's practical; you can carry multiple pints at one time and it's sustainable. For those collectors out there they had some special edition 2022 cups that you could hold onto as a souvenir. At the end of the festival, any unclaimed cups are washed and stored, ready to re- use the following year. And speaking of plastics, this year they had no disposable plastics on sale - great work, Green Man!
DISCOVERING NEW MUSIC
IMAGE CREDIT NICI EBERL
A standout name is important for a band, if I had any musical talent my band would be called 'Joanna Lumley's Rubber Bumhole' (we'd be punk, of course). And with a name like Psychedelic Porn Crumpets jumping out at us from our programme, we had to check them out. Fortunately, the Aussie lads lived up to their name, providing some superb psychedelic rock that I would eat up anytime - go check them out!
RE-ENERGISING
IMAGE CREDIT CHARLIE AKTINSON
Cardiff based coffee roasters Hard Lines - thank you! You and your little Welsh beans got us buzzed for the day and your logo... how could you not love that face? Come to London, please!
HOT TUBBING
IMAGE CREDIT TORY SANDARS
If you are looking for something a bit special for your festival, I would recommend getting yourself a hot tub. We got the first slot on Sunday morning and by then, we really needed that shower before going in. The hot tubs were cleverly situated so they overlooked the beaming Black Mountains (sublime!) and if you're feeling a bit Boujiee, you can get yourself some bubbles to toast as you roast. Perks also include a sauna and an area with hair dryers and mirrors.
Top tip: get in quick, those babies are popular!
EARLY MORNIN' HILL ROLLIN'
IMAGE CREDIT NICI EBERL
Aside from the copious amounts of sheep (I felt like an extra on Emmerdale on the drive in) Wales is known for its rolling countryside and rolling on that countryside we did! I thoroughly recommend it for anyone. So, yes, do try this at home, folks and let that inner child shine through. Just watch out for obstacles and stinging nettles at the end (some childhood trauma right there)!
